Jun 4, 2018 by Stephanie Howe - Owner, Comfort Keepers
It’s a difficult discussion to make, about whether your loved one needs the help of in-home care. There are many reasons why families end up arguing about it, like:
Children don’t always view their parents’ health in the same light. Some with less access or less perception might believe their parent to be in decent health when the opposite is true.
Solution: Seeking out objective, expert consultation from home care services is often the best and least stressful solution. All it takes is reaching out to a service like Comfort Keepers and arranging a visit with an in-home care professional, who will observe your loved one at home and gauge their abilities and the home’s safety. Seeking out advice from your loved one’s physician can also prove useful, as they’ve known your loved one and their medical history even longer, making the process even more thorough.
Sometimes it’s not the siblings who disagree. It’s the parents themselves. They may not be willing to admit they need help yet, especially if they see it as compromising their independence.
Solution: Seeking out help doesn’t have to be synonymous with a loss of agency. With in-home care, your parent will be able to maintain their lifestyle, home, and independence. They simply gain the assistance of a hardworking caregiver. There is no loss here.
Past Issues Come Into Play
When family convenes to discuss and provide care for their loved ones, they often regress to former unhealthy, familial roles. For example, sibling rivalry that seemingly fell dormant may come to a head as stress builds.
Solution: Try to be the bigger person. Keep the well-being of your loved one as the main focus. This is easier said than done, but is ultimately what will result in the best and least stressful process of finding care. Home care services can serve as a means of diffusing the tension with their objective and well-informed care.
One Child Takes on Too Much Responsibility
Oftentimes the child who lives the closest to their parents ends up doing nearly all of the work, as it seems the most convenient. When other family members fail to pitch in, resentment grows, and that energy is being taken away from caring for your parent.
Solution: Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether it be the assistance of your other family members or that of home care services. It’s important to know your limits and keep yourself from burning out. It’s equally important to vocalize when these limits have been reached, and it’s not possible to help on your own anymore.
Caring for an elderly parent encompasses many different tasks from meal prepping to socializing to making sure they take their medications properly. That’s what senior care is for.
One Child Excludes the Rest of the Family
Sometimes siblings don’t seek out this help. In fact, they’ll take on all of the responsibility, establishing an unhealthy amount of control. This keeps other family members in the dark, making it impossible for them to help or your loved one to receive the appropriate amount of attention and socialization.
Solution: It can be hurtful to be left out, but if your parent’s needs seem to be met, it may not be necessary to intervene immediately. However, if this controlling behavior persists, it may prove necessary to vocalize your willingness to help out further. If your relationship with this sibling or caregiver is strained, don’t let it keep you from pursuing one with your parents. Check in by phone or whatever means are most convenient.
For many families, the most difficult part of senior care is figuring out how to pay for it, especially if your parents don’t have the money to. The children may have to resort to pulling from their own pockets, and the split costs may not always be equal.
Solution: Open communication is the best policy here. Be honest about what you can contribute, so there is an accurate idea of the level of care you will be able to provide for your loved one. Make sure the home care services you are employing are diligent and reasonably priced, like Comfort Keepers. Our home care options range in price and intensity to encompass your loved one’s needs.
Balancing caregiving with your own life can prove difficult, especially with children to take care of.
Solution: Hire help. Caregiving is a full-time job, and there’s no shame in admitting it might be more than you can handle. Our devoted in-home care attendants know this and will care for your loved one with full energy so that you can enjoy your time with them instead of stressing.
Caring for Both Parents at Once
Taking the needs of two parents into account is even harder emotionally, physically, and financially. One may prove more competent or healthier than the other and require less senior care. Paying for the care of both can be a weighty financial strain.
Solution: Consulting with an expert like one at Comfort Keepers may help you gain a better understanding of your options. The home care options are limitless and encompass all kinds of different needs. We can help find a plan that works for you and both of your parents.
End of Life Care
The mere thought of end of life care can be scary. It’s difficult confronting the reality that your loved one may be at the end of their road and require such care. One sibling may advocate for hospice care, while another may believe it’s better to keep the parent where they are. Both demonstrate concern but an inability to figure out what is best.
Solution: It’s possible that your loved one has written out a living will that indicates their wishes regarding end of life care. If this is not the case and you’re still hesitant to move them to hospice care, a consultation with home care services would prove to be your most valuable solution. They would be able to determine the extent of care needed and provide it.
Comfort Keepers, the Solution
Comfort Keepers is an in-home care service that provides the assistance your loved one requires without necessitating that they give up their sense of independence. We offer various levels of care, encompassing your loved ones needs whether they be more general in-home care or dementia care. We can provide the objective consultation and care that your parent needs and gives you a break if respite care is what you are looking for. If you’re wondering if your loved one could benefit from our services, don’t hesitate to reach out to 732-557-0010!